Pass: The End of Oral Comps

It’s over! It’s over! Oral comps is finally over!

Sure, I was a virtual wreck this morning. A couple cries. A few hyperventilations. A stomach so squirrely I couldn’t eat before the test. But I did some deep breathing exercises. I went for a walk. I prayed with my husband. I prayed with my friend. And you know what? I finally got it together at the last minute, found confidence, and managed to pull it off.

Did you hear that? I PASSED! It’s finished. I can actually graduate. I can actually get my masters. Excuse me while I do a little happy jig in the parking lot.

You want to hear about the actual test? Well, it was pretty much exactly as I practiced. I showed up about 15 minutes early and had to feel my stomach churning while I waited in the lobby area. The two faculty members on my review board where a bit late because they were rushing from another meeting. They started the introductions and explaining the format before we even entered the conference room. Which caught me off guard. But I tried to stay calm.

As soon as we sat down, they pretty much expected me to roll right in. I spilled out my first response. Fluid. Articulate. A few shakes, but mostly coherent. No interruptions. No follow up questions. I tried to keep my hands under the table so they couldn’t see me shaking. Rolled right into the second question. Noticed my advisor nodding and smiling at all the appropriate cues. The other faculty member? Dead pan. No emotion, no smile, no nods. He just sat there staring at me intently.

I only wanted to throw up once or twice.

But it went really fast. After each question, they were encouraging with praising my arguments or telling me where I could find supporting research. The only issue was my third question. I gave my 8 minute response, but when I stopped, the emotionless professor said, “May I see a set of questions?”

Excuse me, what? Did I do it wrong? Did I not answer the question? Am I going to fail now?

But the other faculty member came to the rescue, “She just answered it a little differently. It’s a fresh perspective on the question.”

And that’s about it. They asked me to leave the conference room so they could compare notes. I barely had enough time to take a breath, and they were already calling me back inside.

“Excellent arguments. Congratulations, you’ve passed.”

Sweet, sweet words.

Oh, and get this: “I’m not sure why you mentioned wanting to work on assertiveness training. You presented yourself professionally and didn’t show any nervousness in tonality.” Can you believe that? It was from the dead pan professor. I could hardly believe my ears.

The only critique? Word choice. I latched on to the words “materials” and “purpose” a few too many times.

Oh and one other thing. My advisor told me it would have been better not to chew gum during the presentation. Except I wasn’t chewing gum. That smacking sound? Yea, it was my mouth sticking to itself. I was nervous, okay? Plus I was talking a lot. I didn’t have any water.

Embarrassing? Yes.

But I don’t care much. Because I passed. I actually passed.

And readers? Thank you. Thank you for your faithfulness during this crazy season. If you need me, I’ll be off doing nothing. Nothing at all.