Sleep Don't Come Easy

I haven’t been sleeping well. And it’s not because I’m not sleepy. I’m tired. But there’s too much going on right now to really entertain sleep. Going back to work has something to do with it. I’ve been pretty busy, and not just with the library. The semester is more than half over, which means our office has started to pick up in preparation for the craziness that is registration and admissions.

So when I get home, all I want to do is lounge around. I even end up in bed early. But sleep? It’s missing. Absent. The furthest thing from my mind. My head hits the pillow, and my mind explodes in a fury of thoughts.

10:45 p.m. Passes quickly.

11:14 p.m. Too hot.

11:18 p.m. Thinking.

11:27 p.m. Shifting. Tossing. Turning.

11:33 p.m. Too cold.

11:42 p.m. More Thinking.

12:35 p.m. Stress out about thinking.

1:05 a.m. Shift again.

And I lie there wondering about the tiniest details. What did she mean when she said “maybe”? Does yellow accurately describe behavior? Did I remember to e-mail the meter reads to Xerox? I need to get a present for the baby shower. Oh, and I can pick up soap while I’m there. Did Brandon remember to take out the trash?

It’s a constant stream.

And I totally don’t get it, because what am I doing with the 4 hours before I go to bed? Fiddle-farting? I end up shutting my brain off early with television or reading, and then pay for it later because my thoughts need to be thunk (it really should be a word).

I’m sure it’s a season. Sleep comes and goes. Sometimes you just have more to process. I think what’s important is to realize that despite my sleeplessness, I’m still getting rest. I’m still laying in bed. I’m still relaxing. And the more I stress about not sleeping, the more I’m not sleeping. Am I right?