Expression of Faith

Every Sunday for three years, I sang with the church worship band—right up until the day I got pregnant. It was my primary ministry in the church and really just something I loved being able to do. Then pregnancy reared it’s not so graceful head, and the ministry was taken away from me. Constant throwing up isn’t good for the vocal chords—or standing on stage. And let’s be honest, cramped up organs aren’t good for lung capacity. So I was forced to quit the band until I get a little less pregnant.

The problem is that I now have little expression of my faith. I wake up on Sundays, go to church, talk to people, then go home. I’m not participating in any other way besides just being there. Of course, it’s been nice to focus on resting and relationships while pregnancy takes over my life, but I feel like something is missing. My heart has changed. I feel static. Unmoved. I guess it’s the idea that if I do not create, I’ll lose my creativity. If there is no practice, there is no skill. And in this case, I’ll lose my passion if I don’t invest in my faith.

I want to find another outlet. Something I can do here and now. Something wonderful for God. I want a real ministry.

I read a bit this morning in Samuel 2:7. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the passage, it tells the story of how David became king. In this particular chapter, David already secured his throne over Israel and he is now entering a time of peace and security. He is finally settled in his palace and decides he wants to bless the Lord by building a temple to house the Ark of the Covenant (which is currently sheltered in a tent).

Isn’t that neat? The very first thing he thought to do was find a huge project to bless the Lord. He wasn’t thinking about how great things were going or how awesome it was to finally be king. He wanted to do something great for the Lord. To be pleasing to God. To invest in the future of his faith. Can you imagine? He decides he wants to take on a project that will define the worship and essentially the spiritual foundation for all the souls in Israel. This temple will inhabit the Spirit of the Lord. Seems lofty, doesn’t it? It’s quite a ministry—something really wonderful.

But guess what? God says no.

And as I considered why, I kept coming back to one thing. David was a shepherd before he was king—even before he was the leader of a band of outlaws. He knew how to gather a flock. To feed them. To protect them.  God likely designed David to be king because of his history. The king of Israel needed to be able to unify a nation that had split, to call them back to worship the one true God, to protect them from oppression from the neighboring Philistines. And what I like about this passage is that God gave David a task that suited his character and strengths. David’s calling at that point was shepherding—not building. No matter how wonderful that project could be, it was not the ministry God arranged specifically for him.

In my search for a ministry, I’ve been looking at all the big options. Host a new bible study at my house. Teach the children’s ministry at church. I’ve even though about putting together a weekend women’s retreat. All are wonderful projects that could be honoring to God, but I can’t fully commit to any of them at this stage in life. I could probably do them—and maybe even do them well—but the issue lies in the idea that none of them play into the strengths or design God has so far developed in me.  I’ve prayed over and over about these exact ministries and I just get the same answer every time—no, I have something else for you.

So what is it?

What can I do to share my faith?

God managed to open my eyes yesterday to the option of writing as a ministry.  He designed me with a love for language and a mind to write. Why not serve him completely through it? Why not make it a ministry? I’ve been published before in a devotional series, but I haven’t given much thought about continuing my writing with the purpose of sharing faith. What kills me is that I’ve had this blog for almost a year now, and I’ve hardly focused any attention on how God is speaking to me and what He’s doing in my life. I mostly jabber on with little stories and big events, which are fun to write and to share. But that doesn’t show how passionate I am about my faith. How deeply I want to share His love. How full a life can be with Him.

So that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll be sharing more of my devotional times with you in the coming months. I want to use this as a means for expressing faith, but also as a starting point for some loftier writing goals—maybe even a book or two? We’ll see what God wants to do with me.

In the meantime, I encourage you to find a way to invest in your own faith. David wanted to do something grand and wonderful, but I’m not sure he realized that God was already doing something grand and wonderful with him.  It makes me think that most of us would be way more effective if we just realized we could be ministering through the projects waiting right there in front of us. Grasp it! It’s time we take ownership in our unique abilities and the many shapes and forms of ministry that can come from them. Find your niche. God (and likely your church) will be blessed.